Adoptions: We Didn’t Consent:
Great posts about adoption and the illegal taking of innocent parent’s children for incentive bonuses so I wanted to share them on donnellyjustice:
ON NIGHTLIGHT AND OTHER “CHRISTIAN” ADOPTION AGENCIES
These are not true Christians that engage in such delusional and self-serving practices. Christ would never countenance the destruction of one family in an effort to manufacture the illusion of another. No way. It bugs me to no end when self-appointed judges of what must be “better for the child” decide to supplant their judgment on others with a mutated ends-justify-the-means approach. Thank be to the Almighty that such a misguided perception is far from legal, far from fairness, but is close to landing perpetrators in huge lawsuits, and possibly even in jail as their conduct is show to me more criminal as time goes on.
– Wesley D. Hutchins, Esq.
HATING THE “BIO” PARENTS
“Some parties have a fervent cause to destroy the natural parent and any vestige of a relationship the child has with her parent. They do not have enough self-control or insight to recognize how this behavior is hurting the child. In fact, they feel justified: the crusade is to “protect” the child from the perceived “evil” of the real parent.”
“No, adoption is not about the best interest of the child. How can adopters profess to love their adopted child while so openly hating the child’s family from whom they came and are linked to forever? If you so obviously hate the father and extended family of the child you adopt, then you do NOT love the child. The child which is of their family and thus will inherit traits and quirks of the family you are so willing to hate. It is impossible for love to exist in such a hate fueled environment. And indeed, there is plenty of evidence out there to show just what adopters think of their adopted child’s natural/original family.”
TRAUMA FROM ADOPTIVE PARENTS
“The only reason the failed adopters can try to say, with a straight face (no doubt), that they are the “only parents she knows” is because they didn’t give the child back to her father at birth. The trauma she’ll suffer in her life will be ALL THEIR FAULT. And she will resent THEM for it. They may illegally, selfishly manage to keep her til she’s 5 yrs old but they’re only hurting her worse.”
BOTH PARENTS NEED TO CONSENT TO ADOPTION FOR IT TO BE “IN THE CHILD’S BEST INTERESTS”
In 1996, Baby M was relinquished by her mother and placed with Darrell and Cindy Matthews. Alphonso Andrews, the baby’s father, never signed any consent forms and contested the placement. A Pennsylvania State Supreme Court ruling sent a message to adoption agencies and attorneys about failure to get consent from both birth parents. Genesis of Pittsburgh, Inc. failed to get Andrews’ approval for the placement and, as a result, custody of Baby M is being decided four years – instead of a matter of days or weeks – after placement, a bittersweet victory for Andrews and a devastating one for the Matthews.
…The higher court found that neither the agency nor the Matthews had proper authority to assume the role of parent. A baby cannot be adopted without the termination or relinquishment of both parents’ rights, and Andrews’ rights were alive and well.
Andrews is quoted as saying, “They said it was for the best interest of the child. But that is not their child. It is mine. I can’t help it that they are unable to have children. That doesn’t give them the right to take mine.”
ADOPTIONS=$$$$
The potential for making money in adoption has greatly increased over the past thirty years because of 1) the legal and social changes that have led to fewer infants available for adoption; 2) the growing belief that everything in our country (health, information, peace of mind, children) is a commodity that can be packaged, marketed, and sold at a profit; and 3) the increased number of affluent young adults who feel that rearing children is essential to their lives and who are determined to become parents whatever the costs.
“How can the state (or anyone else) create any legal custody rights to an unrelated third party when none exist and when a fit, loving, and stable parent is available?”
Think adoption is a non-profit service for children? Think again. If it was so charitable, it would be provided as a public service with no money changing hands.
Instead, adoption is a multi-billion-dollar industry. Each transaction, each time money is given to an agency in exchange for an infant, a profit has been made, a human being has been bought. And, usually by people who would recoil at the concept of human trafficking. But if you can dress it up in euphemisms of “adoption services” and “adoption situations,” you can get away with treating babies as commodities.
NATIVE AMERICANS’ PARENTAL RIGHTS VS. NON-NATIVE AMERICAN PARENTAL RIGHTS
IN many jurisdictions, father’s rights are often marginalized, resulting in situations like the one in which Dusten Brown has found himself. Indeed, the irony is that if Dusten had not been Native American, his rights likely would have been ‘steam-rolled’ and his child taken away with little fanfare two years ago.”
COURT BATTLES ARE NOT NECESSARILY IN “THE CHILD’S BEST INTERESTS”
“If a child’s birth father comes forward and exercises their right to raise their child and you decide to drag this out in the courts instead of doing the right thing by returning his baby to him…you might be an adoptoraptor.”
http://firstmomout.wordpress.com/2012/11/17/you-might-be-an-adoptoraptor/
MIDDLEMEN
“Making money from trading babies is illegal. Oops, unless of course you are an adoption agency, adoption facilitator or an adoption lawyer – then it’s just fine.
Isn’t hypocrisy grand.”
“The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit (California) held that the parent-child relationship is a constitutionally protected liberty interest. (See; Declaration of Independence –life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and the 14th Amendment of the United States Constitution — No state can deprive any person of life, liberty or property without due process of law nor deny any person the equal protection of the laws.)”
– Kelson v. Springfield, 767 F 2d 651; US Ct App 9th Cir, (1985).
JOHN WYATT
Denying those biological fathers their parental rights in favor of biological mothers and adoptive parents seems to be automatic. What are the adoptive parents going to tell the child when she’s old enough? Your biological dad wanted to be your real dad, but we said no way and took it to the Supreme Court? He’s the biological dad, for hellsakes and the minute he said he wanted custody – just after the baby was born – the adoptive parents should’ve relinquished custody. I know it’s not an ideal scenario, it’s heartbreaking, but how could the adoptive parents not respond to a bio dad who wants his baby within weeks of her birth?
-M.B.
PAP BAG ‘O TRICKS
Concerned that return to birth parents may cause harm to children who have lived for a significant period of time with prospective adoptive parents, some states have created a “best interest hearing” to determine where the child should live. These hearings permit the court to determine what placement is in the best interest of the child, regardless of whether the adoptive or birth parents have won the legal battle (Hollinger, 1996a). Critics of best interest hearings suggest that they stack the deck against birth parents regaining custody if the length of time the child has been in an adoptive home is the criterion for determining custody. Some courts have been reluctant to permit broad use of the best interest hearing, on the grounds that the availability of such a hearing could encourage prospective adoptive parents to resist return of the child to the birth parents, in the hope that retaining physical custody for long enough would enable them to prevail.
(see in re: Adoption of Haley A. 1996)
Can I Take Your Baby Order?
JUST “GET OVER IT”
They wanted me to forget. They told me to “get over it,” “put it behind me,” and “get on with my life.” They told my child I “gave her away.”
That was their mistake.
Parents do not “relinquish their rights to the child” rather they abdicate their responsibilities to the child in abrogation of the rights of the child to the “care, comfort and companionship” of his or her parents. It is the child’s right that is terminated, not the parents’.
ERASING THE BIO PARENTS
An extremely unfortunate but common tactic used to “erase” a parent and his family and further damage the child’s connection to him is to:
Eliminate the parent’s last name.
This is very common. The aggrieved (in her eyes) party can’t stand the thought of the father being in the child’s life. So since labels and words matter so much in a child’s world, it’s a quick way to devalue the father and his family.
This is destructive to a child’s soul. It’s yet another way of instilling false feelings in children, and it’s abusive.
“An unethical adoption is an adoption that couldn’t be done legally. That means a child was taken from their parent even though they should have never been, and given to someone else. That, to me, is a KIDNAPPING, and that’s what the attorneys that do this don’t want the public to know.”
JEALOUSY AND SELFISHNESS IS NOT A VIRTUE
“If you are an adoptive parent jealously withholding information or visits from your child’s first/birth family, who is that benefiting? Put yourself in your child’s place. What would you say to parents who cut you off from family members that loved and cared about you? Look beyond right now and into the future. Do you want a relationship with your adult adopted child? An honest open relationship? Are you willing to mess up someone’s life for your own benefit?”
-A.I.T.F.
COMMENT
“There is no way to justify what has happened to Anthony and Hailey. The failed adopter-turned-potential-guardian knew and still knows she is wrong yet deludes herself into believing that Hailey is HERS. Guess what…Hailey is not a trophy! She is a child you stole and are holding hostage hoping Anthony runs out of money before you do. Will that make it any easier to sleep at night?Or by filing for Guardianship after losing the adoption bid over a year ago that you can drag out the legal process long enough so you can claim that it would be detrimental move her! YOU, failed adopter-turned potential guardian, are causing Hailey extreme detriment by your actions. Not the other way around. It’s a JOKE to claim that it’s in Hailey best interests to stay with you…oh, no, the only thing you are considering is YOUR INTERESTS…not what is best for Hailey. You are a selfish person that is only thinking of herself. The very last thing that you are thinking about is what’s best for the child you stole. I can only hope she is reunited with her father ASAP!”
“Adoption is and has always been deeply imbued in classism, as it is adoption’s intent and most often outcome to move a child from lower to higher-class status. This is truer today than ever, as adoption has become a business of finding children for clients.”
– Mirah Riben,
Shedding Light on the Dark Side of Adoption
“When I (Watkins) saw the mother and child aged two, through discussing how she would tell him of his adoption, she expressed great feeling that she would never pass on any positive information to the child of his natural mother or father. The child might reject her in favor of the natural parents. She could feel nothing for the child’s need for some positive identification with the natural parents.”
Thoughts from a birthmother
“I wish I had known how it would feel to know for the rest of my life that I had assisted in denying a man the right to have a relationship with his child.
Had I thought through the ethically complications and moral obligation to the truth and this man’s rights, then I would not have to live with the knowledge of how I horribly and inexcusable wronged another human being.”
– C.D.A.
“Courts try to ignore the fact that their own actions have manufactured the psychological parent, whom -after allowing delay after delay- conveniently now want to assert that they can better serve the child’s best interests.
They couldn’t be more wrong.”
When a baby is abducted in public there is a public outcry. The bereft parents are seen on TV, surrounded by grim faced police officers coaching them, to beg for the rapid and safe return of their stolen child. Public sympathy is with them. There can be no doubt in the viewer’s mind that the parents are victims every bit as much as the child. Their suffering is apparent. No one questions their anguish. The nation prays for the safe return of the abducted child and rejoice when it happens. This does not happen with adoption, which is carried out in private and often against the wishes of a fit, stable and loving parent.
FROM AN ADOPTION AGENCY ADVERTISEMENT
What about the birth father?
If the father of your baby knows that you are pregnant and is supportive of the adoption, he can be as involved in the process as you would like. If he is not supportive of the adoption, nor supportive of you and your pregnancy, then we can work with you in terminating his rights. But don’t worry! This usually is not a problem.
“I didn’t know if anyone would care about the opinion of an 81 year old woman who was adopted as a child of 4 years of age. My adoptive parents were wonderful and I loved them dearly. But my birth family was also a big part of my life. I knew my brothers and sisters all their lives. I was lucky….I had lots of people who loved me ….BUT (and it’s a big but), if my adoptive family had taken me away from my birth family and I learned of it when I was an adult, I would have broken off all contact with my adoptive family. I would have felt they had cheated me. My prayer is that this small child grows up knowing ALL of the people who love her.”
he judges finding on 9-29-2011 …
“I do not find the birth mother’s testimony credible as to any type of assistance she may have sought – – she may have sought form birth father. To the contrary, I find that it was her desire, and she made active efforts, to have no contact whatsoever with birth father and herself and birth father and the minor child prior to or after the birth of the minor child. I find it credible to believe that the birth mother so wanted to limit the contact between her and birth father that she sought out the adoption option so that birth father would have no reason to be in her life.”
“As to evidence and testimony relating to birth father agreeing to ‘sign his rights away,’ I find that birth father believed that in making this statement, all he was agreeing to was allowing birth mother to have sole custody of the child. I do not find birth mother’s testimony credible that birth father did not want to pay child support for this child.”
If you are an adoptive parent jealously withholding information or visits from your child’s first/birth family, who is that benefiting? Put yourself in your child’s place. What would you say to parents who cut you off from family members that loved and cared about you? Look beyond right now and into the future. Do you want a relationship with your adult adopted child? An honest open relationship? Are you willing to mess up someone’s life for your own benefit?
-A.I.T.F.
As a child of a private adoption- I can tell you that if I grew up KNOWING FOR SURE that I had a biological parent in the world who LOVED me and WANTED me and HAD THE MEANS TO KEEP ME I would be absolutely angry, bitter, and livid with my adoptive parents.
-P.S.
“An unethical adoption is an adoption that couldn’t be done legally. That means a child was taken from their parent even though they should have never been, and given to someone else. That, to me, is a KIDNAPPING, and that’s what the attorneys that do this don’t want the public to know.”
An adult adoptee speaks
Are we people with opinions about how our lives were shaped without our input or, by mere virtue of being adoptees and the fact that money changed hands to alter our parentage, are we simply considered products? By being silenced, we are being told in no uncertain terms that we ARE just products. By supporting this practice of silencing us instead of showing parental interest in the effects of adoption, we are being told that what happens to us in the long run is utterly unimportant.
Is there any financial assistance available to help with the cost of adoption?
Great news for adoptive parents is the federal adoption tax credit. For many adoptive parents, this greatly reduces the cost of their adoption, sometimes even making it eventually free.
The 2012 tax credit is set at $12,650. Adoptive parents may claim the tax credit if their modified adjusted gross income is not morethan $189,710. For those with incomes in excess of this amount, the credit can still be claimed up to modified adjusted gross incomes of $229,710. Because the permitted income levels are so high, virtually all adoptive parents are eligible for the credit.
The $12,650 credit can be used for any lawful expenses in an adoption (home study fees, attorney and/or agency fees, birth mother’s counseling and legally permitted assistance with living and medical costs). The tax credit applies to both domestic (independent and agency) and international adoption. It does not apply to step-parent or adult adoptions. In domestic adoption, normally the credit is taken year-by-year as the expenses are incurred, ending at the finalization.
Excuses
As an adoptive parent, I did not start out to steal anyone’s child; but the deeper I got into the adoption I felt and saw a lot of things that were bending/breaking moral laws as well as laws of the land. Does an adoptive parent REALLY have the capacity to believe they abducted a wanted child?
Think about the pressure and stress of an adoption on all sides and you’ll find prospective adoptive parents who dissociate from the reality of what is going on in order to go through with what they sub-consciously know is FULL of illegalities.
Just a thought about what really happens in a world that has made humans far less than their worth.
They knew all along
The prospective adoptive parties knew long ago that Hailey’s daddy wanted her and, nevertheless, kept her – resulting in the bond she has with the (now) failed adoptive party.
If this line of reasoning applies to adoption, failed adoption, or subsequent guardianships, it would also have to apply to kidnapping. Would we insist a child stays with a kidnapper if the kidnapping results in a bond between the child and the kidnapper?
Hailey lives with adults who willfully let her bond to them, knowing that they could use this bond to retain possession.
New Year’s Baby
Excerpts from 4/2012 appeals court decision:
“Long before minor was born, father had sought to establish his parental rights. Mother K.G. (mother) offered minor for adoption at birth without father‘s consent.”
“On October 26, 2009….father petitioned the Sacramento County Superior Court to establish a parental relationship. He sought a DNA test to establish his paternity; it was ordered at his expense.”
“After mother stopped seeing father, she contacted an agency and selected adoptive parents, L.R. and K.R. Mother knew that father would not consent to the adoption and she disclosed this fact to the agency and the adoptive parents.”
“Father was not notified when minor was born; he had to call many hospitals to get information about the birth.”
“On January 8, 2010, L.R. and K.R. filed a request to adopt minor in the Placer County Superior Court. They also filed a petition to terminate father‘s parental rights….”
All grown up:
It’s living a life of psychological torture. You never feel as if your adoptive parents are your real parents. You just know it’s not true, and there’s no use in pretending.
But you have to depend on them for your survival, so a bond forms. You don’t like being with them, but you have no choice. After a while you realize it’s too hard to fight it all the time, so you pretend your situation is livable.
You feel like a fraud. You can never be what these people want. You can never be their child. You’ll only be a pretender.
FATHER’S RIGHTS
If you are a mother with sons and you support, in any way, the actions, situations or precedents that diminish a father’s right to his own child, then, if in the future, your own son faces such a terrible tragedy and loses the right to his own child, you only have yourself to blame.
Yes, that is my opinion, and yes, I stand strong and firm by it. If you fight now to deny a father his rights to his own child, no matter the justification you might use behind it, then you have absolutely nothing you can say or do to change it if your own son, the one you have raised and loved and cherished from day one, finds himself fighting desperately to be a father to his own son or daughter.
If you stand up now and call a father a “sperm donor” for no other reason than he is fighting to raise and love his own child. If you claim he should just “give up” and leave his son or daughter with the (person) who has refused to give him back his child, than you have absolutely NO RIGHT to say anything if, down the road, your own grandchild, the flesh and blood of your own child,
Facebook Posts of 1/18/2014:
“If I were to find out that my father had fought for me and my adoptive parents had fought him back, I would turn on them in a heartbeat. There is no way to whitewash this one. As soon as the kid can Google, it’s over.”
-Tracy Hammond
cps: child predator services 
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My kids were taken because I didn’t have enough money to raise them they said they would let me have them if I was black and since I can’t prove it I can’t do anything about it my son name is/was Trevor Lee Figueroa 7/11/2096 and Elizabeth Lynn Figueroa 6/26/2008
Our baby is almost stolen. His adoption is set to be finalized in two weeks. The child was taken because of FALSE accusation of shaken baby. It is absolutely NOT TRUE. This child is being stolen from a completely healthy, innocent family. Both parents and grandparents are completely shut off from this precious child. And they are INNOCENT!
The government takes our kids away so the foster parents want them my kids were taken and the adoptive parents own a boat and live in expensive neighborhood why is no ey the reason. They take your kids I hate defacs
My youngest son was adopted after false accusations and no proof of abuse which I fought the whole time, CPS is now trying to adopt my other two children. CPS has tore my family apart and caused me to lose my home, job, and all my friends. They lie, and brainwash my children. It makes me sick!! Something needs to be done about this!!
my son is incarcerated for alchol, he called me and gave me a child protective case workers name and # asked me to call and ask them to twst him as a baby father they had in custody, the mother had 5 kids plus this one taken away she tried to sell the babyyfor drugs, I called as my son asked and gave her the information she said there werw others to be tested and if they were negitive he wouould be next ,well bout 3-4 months later i get call he is the dad, asked if anyone would want him i told her my niece would love to be placement, i was told shed have to talk to my son ,well another month and half goes by and they have him in a foster home so i call and am told i willl have to go thru kinship fostering which they knew from beginning they werent going to except me ,i was not told about team meatings when i finaly read up and wanted to attend it was a interagation it was awful. I started reading up on this and found out how corrupt it was, i hardly got to see him always with someone watching taking notes in dirty little area no toys , i knew there was a connection they were friebønds or something i found out she ( foster mom) was investagator for 10 yrs taking children out of homws then quit to become foster parenrss,she made comment on her gav book how they couuld not have children and it was very impoetant it be same wthnic and resemembel them, long story short the team the judge my sons attonery all favor the fostor parents , all the other kids were adopted by her realitives , er he baby always aick, has not been circumsized ,i have not been able to bond with baby or spend any alone time they cancel my visirs, I want my grandchild to know me and his family so even tho i know the odds are very much agaisnst me i am going to give it my all to keep him in family and not lost to us!
My name is Minka Alexander.. My mother has taken my daughter from me because I am buddhist and refuse to be Christian.my mother reported me to dhs multiple times and every time I passed with flying colors. She has taken my daughter from me before and I won her back in Perry Oklahoma. No matter what she did I kept wining over and over again. Then my mother took my daughter and filed for emergency custody in Blairsville Georgia. In Union County Blairsville Georgia our family is a pillar in the community they. Because of my family’s power in Blairsville I have been fighting a brick wall. I even had a judge make me wait until all the other proceedings where done, then told the court reporter to leave and told me that I didn’t have a chance. I live in Oklahoma and my daughter was born in Oklahoma and I won custody of her in Oklahoma, but now I can’t even get it seen by the judges… My daughter begs me to bring her home it kills me because they will not even let me visit her. She has beged my mother to send her home to me and my mother told her I couldn’t care for her and even that I have to beg for food. .. My mother has been forcing my daughter to call her mommy and is now taking money from every place she possibly can in my daughters name… My mother swares that I abandoned my daughter, however I have not. She says God gave her star and it’s because I am buddhist God wanted her raised by a Christian. I have refused to be southern Baptist and refuse to let her be what she calls, spiritual mother. Although I passed a dhs investigation in Blairsville before.. After she falsely accused me of abuse and neglect, dhs refuses to get involved in the situation. I have never done anything to lose my parental rights and yet I cannot even visit my baby. She has convinced everyone in North Georgia that I was a terrible mother and star was terrorized by living with me as her mother.. After 3 years of trying every thing I could I finally filed a complaint with the United nations and fbi.. Trying to get someone to investigate the situation. Star is very unhappy and watching my daughter cry because she knows that I can’t be with her and she was trying so hard not to cry and be strong her little face is still stuck in my head and those silent tears broke my heart . star knows that I would be with her if I at all could and even though stars grandmother forces her to call her mommy.. Star knows I’m her momma and she knows that her grandmother is lieing about every thing and she knows that it’s her grandmother who won’t let her come home… And star knowing what is going on.. Tortures me.. When it’s all said and done the truth is that they took my daughter because of religion and to use her for a pay check. And with the system so corrupt and my mother’s family owning the town.. Even when I get it to a court in Blairsville my case is not even examined.. I get thrown out and bulldozed over.. Meanwhile my daughter is miserable and my mother is sucking up all the money and attention she can get. Lastly in an effort to keep me away from my daughter my mother has started telling people that since I was a lesbian in college that means that I probably would have molested my own daughter just because that’s what gay people do… I was shocked when she told people that me being a tattoo artist ment I did drugs and I was shocked when she said that buddhist are devil worshipers.. But this crossed a line and pushed my Last button
My baby girl Hannah was stolen from me it’s been almost 8 mos I miss her so much my heart is broken n I cry all the time I’ve been fighting and fighting to bring her home she use to b a happy baby but now she is so sad depressed cuts herself crys her eyes stay black all the time nsay she wants to come home she crys n texts me n begs me to come home make them being her home she is abused n treated like a bulit in babysitter n maid all the time never gets company or get to go do what she would like . this is so wrong to do a sweet girl or any baby this way . her family Miss’s n loves her infinity we don’t celebrate anything no more cos she is not here . . I love you my baby girl . mommy misses u . loves u more then the moon n stars .
both my daughters got stolen, i have had some contact with my oldest, she got taken oct 3rd 2001, she is 15 now and is in the hospital because she tried to commit suicide nobody will let me see her because they say i have no legal right to her . Jesselynn i love you and im so sorry your hurting so bad you have my phone number call me i will be there no matter what
My 2 minor children were illgally placed with a family member who has been convicted of 1st degree assault battery and took both children out of state illgally now she gave my son to Foster care and he tried suiside 3 times and then she dropped off my daughter at a church in Alabama never to be seen again she’s 11 and my son 13 o have showed them a big beautiful house rooms ready and food tg Ed y won’t let me see my children I have visitation order haven’t heard from either chd in 2 yrs don’t know if they are alive or dead this is wrong and I filed 15 petitions for return of my children